How to Tell If Your Date is Really Gay (Written by : Martin Pearce)

Published: 29th November 2005
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So you've decided to go out, enjoy and indulge in some active gay dating. It is a known fact that one of the most awkward situations in gay dating is when you can't tell whether your friend is dating material or just that… a friend.

The best thing to do is to heighten your gaydar (read: gay radar). So does this "sixth sense" come in handy when dating? Of course. You would not want to be in those extremely embarrassing revelations that happen to countless gay men and unsuspecting women right? Ever uttered the lines Oh, sorry I thought you were…or I did not have a clue that you are… or Wow, I really thought you were into me…? If you have, then it's time to sharpen your gaydar. To do this, you must be keenly familiar with gay life, whether this be the gay look, gay speak, gay sport, and others. Do note that the following tips are not 100% foolproof. There are always exceptions to the rule and there IS still a chance that that sweaty (and somewhat smelly) hunk across the street is indeed dating material.

Gay Look. Clothing-wise, gays do not really differ much from straight men. Both value their physical appearance and demeanor so seeing a well-groomed and freshly bathed guy does not mean he's gay. Now you might say that fingernail paint is surely a telltale sign that he's gay right? Well, not quite, unless of course you think soccer superstar (ok, God to some) David Beckham is gay! Men like Beckham are what people call metrosexuals, that is, men that are straight yet embody the heightened aesthetic sense often associated with certain types of gay men. They are simply very urban straight men who are in touch with their feminine side.

So, what IS the gay look? Don't just go by the clothes. See how he 'reacts' to his clothes or environment. A guy with fingernail paint may be 'cool' but having his painted twinkie up in the air when he holds his glass to sip a drink is a flag shouting 'gay'! Also, check out the overall look. Clean clothes are ok but, super groomed hair, white socks gleaming shoes and a ready handkerchief too? Perfume also tells a lot. Many straight men go for the clean and neat look but they wouldn't be caught dead using COCO Channel no. 5.

Gayspeak. Examine your conversation with your date. Does he use subtle communication? For example, does he use genderless pronouns to describe a partner? Other features of speech distinguish gay men, these include stressed pronunciation, a wide pitch range, breathy tones, the use (or misuse) of long s and z's when talking, and the pronunciation of t and d as ts and dz. Moreover, they frequently engage in ritual insults, irony, sarcasm, sexual and erotic reference, women-related imagery and metaphor.

Gay people also have their own vocabulary, in fact they are famous for it! It's a distinct feature of being gay. In The Queen's Vernacular, homosexuals have been shown to use a wide array of specialized words used to refer to sexual relationships (such as partner) and non-sexual ones (for example, sister), behavior (e.g., bull dyke), age (e.g., chicken), places (e.g., tearoom), sexual identity (for example, gay, lesbian, queer), and so forth.

The Gay Gym Culture. For numerous gay men who are not infected by the AIDS virus, being actively involved in physical activity is their way of announcing to the world that they are as healthy as ever. Of course going to the gym does not mean he's gay but does he have multiple gym memberships? This may be a telltale sign as gays delight not only on a great workout but on seeing all those 'hunks' around them.

Other Telltale Signs. What other telltale signs could you look out for that may suggest he is gay? The following are some helpful tips: .

* His CD collection includes Pet Shop Boys, Village People, and Patsy Cline. Count in ABBA, Cher, and Cyndi Lauper.
* His wallet contains membership cards to 3 different gyms/health clubs.
* When he mows his lawn, he wears a mesh tank-top, tattered denim shorts, and Doc Martins.
* His magazine subscriptions include Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Martha Stewart Living.
* In the locker room, you notice his perfect tan, multiple body piercing, highlighted hair, and his handiwork with a razor down there.
* He never excelled in sports except certain water sports.
* He prefers tiki torches and the gold candelabra on the picnic table at your camping date.
* He wears super-tight, white-ribbed T-shirts or anything that shows his nipples.
* You've seen him sit next to another guy in close settings, such as a movie house or an airplane, that is, even if there are spare seats around.
* You've seen him open the car door for another man before he gets in himself.
* He uses conditioner and buys designer brand shampoo.
* You find out that he uses dry skin lotion, expensive slippers and makes his bed.
* He has an artdeco Kleenex dispenser, more pictures of Marilyn Monroe than you can count, more than two cappuccino machines in the kitchen, and weird pets.
* His shoes are always polished.
* His favorite super hero is Wonder Woman.
Martin Pearce writes for Gay Dating - If you are Gay and looking for love then this is the site for you. Articles, Reviews and Links to the best Gay sites on the Internet and the DrDating Forum – a
forum for people looking for help in love, relationships and dating.

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